Junk Descriptions

What are Junk Items? (START HERE!)
My players, especially Sigrant, really really really like looting bodies and pickpocketing people. As a result, I've decided that in addition to giving them money and whatever they're holding/wearing, I'm going to roll some dice to see what junk they might also find.

Junk is functionally useless, and completely worthless. Other than that, feel free to honestly just make up whatever you want here! As long as it isn't too important or functional, anything can be a junk item.

Sigrant's orb prints out a card whenever he finds junk, that gives him the item description. Please try to make this Dark Soulsy, and feel free to reference subtler parts of the lore.

Numbers have been added so I can actually roll for them.

00 - Item Name in Sub-heading 1
"Anything that comprises the item description is a Block quote"Anything that isn't read aloud is typed out here, in a paragraph

DC?
DC stands for Difficulty Check, and represents how easy it is to do something. A quick reference for what a DC should be is as follows:
 * 5 - Very easy
 * 10 - Easy
 * 15 - Moderate
 * 20 - Hard
 * 25 - Very hard
 * 30 - Nearly impossible

01 - Alchomo
"A white envelope containing a pink powder."

"However one ingests alcohomo, they should be wary of its mind alterting effects. The user feels a sharply hightened sense of euphoria and excitement, and become prone to guillability. Side effects include massive headaches, irratibility, and rash behavior."

02 - Shard of a Dragon Egg
"A broken triangle, hard and stone, formerly of a dragon egg."

"Some people wear these as lucky charms. Mostly worthless, though few people value them greatly."

"Slightly warm to the touch."

03 - Ruby
"A valuable gem. Hoarded by dragons and kings alike, these red jewels are valuable to just about anyone and are used in everything from magic to blacksmithing."

04 - Box of Dreams (Owned by Smitty)
"A silver box with the word Dreams written on it in cursive."

"Hard, if not impossible, to open. Sometimes you think you hear voices coming from it."

DC 18 Str to open: A note inside, 'Note: own a house, find a wife, have a child.'.

Smitty found this on a cultist, and as a result the note instead said 'Note: join and eventually lead the Cult of the Dragons'

05 - Brooch
"A well made brooch, and on it is a very arousing illustration of a very husky woman."

06 - White Mask
"A plain, featureless white mask. There are two holes for eyes and two smaller holes for the nose. Looks creepy if you stare at it too long."

07 - Pendant
"A simple pendant with no effect."

"Even so, pleasant memories are crucial to survival on arduous journeys."

08 - Whispering Shell "A simple conch shell. When held to one's ear, whispers in Deep Speech can be heard, but their meaning cannot be made out."

09 - 'Fortunately, No One Was Injured'
"A book detailing the adventures of a reluctant adventurer with surprisingly good luck."

"The book itself is extensively stained with blood, to the point of being almost unreadable."

10 - Mad Saint Jack's Knockdown Bitches Brew
"A glass flask with a classy label showing a stylized wizard making a burning cloud between his palms. Snow is falling from it. The label reads 'Mad Saint Jack's Knockdown Bitches Brew'"

"This invigorating(?) brew glows faintly. Taking a daught reveals it to be cold, only to change to a ferocious heat. Said to be Mad Saint Jack's favorite drink. No one knows exactly what it is."

11 - Jarred Fairy (Owned by Sigrant)
"You're pretty sure this fairy is long dead. Even so, sometimes you could swear it glows."

12 - Superb Owl "A small brass owl of unknown origin."DC 16 Investigation check reveals writing on it, which reads "The owls are not what they seem."

13 - Old Slipper
"A well worn slipper of eastern origin. For some reason, it's filled with fragrant tabacco."

14 - Unusual Fishing Lure
"This would be an ordinary fish lure, were it not for the fact that it's carved to resemble a man. What kind of fish does this attract?"

15 - Skeletal Hand
"The remains of a hand, feircly clutching a locket even in death. Try as you might, the two cannot be seperated." DC 25 Str to seperate them. If they fall asleep at any point without keeping a careful eye on them, they will awaken to find them reunited.

16 - Sword Pommel
"A pommel that was removed from it's sword, engraved with the words 'End Him Rightly.'"

01 - Old Elven Arrow
"Elegantly carved from sparrow wood, each one of these arrows was engraved with a prayer to Silvanus."

"These engraved arrows were mostly used before The War of Trees and are very rare today. However, there are a few arrowsmiths that still practice such ritualistic techniques."

02 - Bag of Teeth
"Some societies of Kobolds keep human teeth as a form of currency that doubles as a sign martial might. Cunning Kobolds will sometimes steal or barter for teeth in an attempt to gain respect and obeidence from their peers."

03 - Dragon Figurine
"A small ceramic votive figure of a dragon."

"Even kobolds pray for the benevolence of the godlike to shine on them."

04 - Soup Stone
A stone, worn smooth over the years. It's said that this stone is a crucial ingedient in making the most delicious soup in the world...

05 - Broken Dowsing Charm (Owned by Sigrant)
"A crystal affixed to the end of a chain. Oddly, it will always point directly down, and will not swing." 06 - Threaded Bracelet
 * "A small, fragile bracelet made of thread. Even such a simple gift can carry great meaning to those of simple means."

07 - Dog Ears

 * "A grisly collection of small trophies collected by kobold warriors and strung on a string, a sign of their strength and courage in battle."

Uncategorized Junk
Items that some other race/species would carry, but I don't know what yet.

01 - Tail of Solstice
"Biting into this bitter, tart lizard tail and chewing it to a pulp will render you attracted to the same sex for a full day. It is said that these are shed from creatures whose males mate each other for life"

If unwilling to turn gay, roll a DC 16 Cha save to resist.

Special Junk
This junk has a 100% droprate, and only drops on important characters.